No matter how much I try to run away..

Every word, every thought, every heartbeat leads me back to you.

I hate myself. Everytime I think about everything you said, I end up crying. Maybe I am still the miserable me. Sorry for being lame.

He’s changed.

I saw him again. That kid I handled when I was in the hospital. I was assigned in pedia ward on 11-7 shift. That was the first time I met him.

He was undiagnosed because technically, there’s no psychiatrist in the hospital. We needed to transfer him to a mental facility but the parents were in denial. They believe that he’s well. He’s okay. He doesn’t need help.

But looking at him at that point, I knew what he needs. He refused treatments. Refused everything that was offered to him. He never took even a single bath for the whole course of his stay in the hospital. He just laid there. Lost in his own world.

Then came the time when I needed to approach him. He stared at me. And I wasn’t sure if it was me he was seeing. I know I was wrong for letting him do it but I let him hold my hand for a long time. And there we were, at the corner of the earth, connected with one single touch. I was standing and he was lying on his bed. I was his nurse, and he was my patient.

He was whispering things I couldn’t decipher but he never spoke to me. He was looking at me straight in the eyes. It was like I could see his soul through his eyes widely open. Then tears started to flow from them. I don’t know why. And maybe I shouldn’t.

Then the helpers came to conduct him to a stretcher.. To the ambulance.. That will transfer him to a mental facility. His parents were convinced that he needed help after thorough explanation.

I thought I’d never see him again.

This is the highlight of my year so far. Seeing him again in good shape. Smiling with his peers. He begged his parents to let him go back to school. And begged even more in front of our school principal.

I feel so good today. I feel so hopeful and positive. Maybe it’s true that there are things that will keep on getting better. He’s better now.

Now, I am his school nurse and he’s my student.

I don’t know if he can still remember me or that single moment that we shared. But then again I wouldn’t mind if he doesn’t. What matters is that he’s changed for the better and I am truly happy for him.